Posted by Sarah Ashley on December 07, 1999 at 16:39
I have been writing to a very nice guy recently, who asked me if I would write down how a typical session goes when I mess myself. I have never written it all down before like this, and was quite surprised how exciting it was for me. So I thought I would post part of it here in case anyone else was interested to read it. Apologies to my correspondent for not keeping this fragment private between ourselves - I still think of it as a YOUR letter (and of course I am not putting your name or anything here!), but I have enjoyed reading experiences here, and thought it would be nice to share. So here goes:
"... as I said before it usually starts with stripping down to my underwear in front of the mirror and stroking myself all over, but particularly I suppose my legs and thighs and bum. I may stay this way for quite a time just relaxing and turning from time to time to look at myself from different angles. Then I start to let the urge to poo grow, and although the natural inclination is to suppress it (when not seated on the loo!), I try to relax and let it develop - usually it comes in waves. Enventually (and I don't like to rush it), it becomes really very strong and I like to position myself for a good view of my bottom, and at the same time will probably slip my right hand down the front of my pants. I will probably concentrate on gently fondling and rubbing with this hand and tentatively place my left hand near the seat of my knickers (but not so as to obscure the view!). I will have got into a reasonably comfortable position, either leaning against something or kneeling down. At some point a wave of pressure will come that really is trying to push some poo out, and I will let it come into my pants. Usually it will only be a little bit - about the size of a small egg, and will make a little white cotton 'tent'. I will probably be continuing to rub myself quite gently at this stage, and will let my left hand gently touch the little bulge round the back. It's funny, although I have done it hundreds of times, it still feels as naughty as it did the first time, and my heart and my breathing will be very fast as I relish the imagined danger and naughtiness of my actions. When the next wave of pressure in my bum comes around, I am more inclined to help it with a push - sometimes only a gentle one, but other times the excitement is such that I cannot wait to mess myself in a big way. Either way, I will, before long, end up with a really large load sagging down in the back of my knickers, which makes me gasp to look at. The end bit of poo is usually much softer and makes quite a squidgy mess between my buttocks and usually makes a visible stain in the cotton, around the initial lump. I will usually straighten up a bit at this point and clench my bum to feel the suishiness, and cup the bulging seat with my left hand. I will be almost unbearably excited by now and rubbing myself quite fast. This is when I lose virtually any control over how dirty I feel, or behave. Sometimes I will quite forcefully grind the mess into my bum, making the whole area covered by the back of my knickers completely filthy - before peeling them down at the back for the mirror to display the disgrace inside. Sometimes I put my hand down the back and squish the lumps of poo in my hand, letting it come out between my fingers. I have even been known to scoop out a handful and rub it on my body. I think the most disgusting I have got (only a few times) has been to take my filthy knickers off and push the messy seat into my face! Whatever the level of play, I will always have the BIGGEST orgasm. It really is the most intense sexual experience I am capable of (which of course is very sad!) Afterwards, I feel physically and emotionally exhausted, and slink away for a shower, usually feeling a bit silly or even rather guilty. After a long shower, which has become almost ritualised, I emerge feeling really revitalised, and CLEANER in every way than I will have done for days - strange isn't it!..."
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