THE DATE......

 

 

 

 

Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man ...of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that’s “Silent But Deadly” for you prudes).

It was about five years ago. I was trying to lose a few pounds so I was staying away from carbs. That’s when I met my husband, Rob. On our first date, he booked the next two. He liked me. I liked him. Things were looking real good.

He picked me up in a Cobra, Mustang and his pathetic attempt to win me over with a car totally worked. I’m not shallow, but since I spent most of my twenties picking men up because I didn’t want my hair to frizz in their non-air conditioned jalopies on 3 wheels and a 15 year old spare, I welcomed his fancy sports car with open arms.

We arrived at the restaurant and Rob was ordering food I hadn’t allowed myself to eat in years. I didn’t want to be “that girl” so I ate, drank, and oh, was I merry. Later we shopped a bit. Rob surprised me by buying an expensive pair of shoes that he caught me eyeing. Was this love?

That’s when it happened. Gas strikes in two different ways – uncontrollable toots or sharp, shooting pains that feel a lot like dying. I thought I was dying. Not to make a scene, I told Rob I suddenly wasn’t feeling well and probably needed to head home.

On the way home in his Cobra, he tried to hold my hand and ask me lots of questions, but I wasn’t having any of it. The pain was so bad it felt like I was being stabbed with a bunch of tiny forks. Then I realized …

My God, help me. I have a horrendous fart on deck. I’m in trouble. Big trouble.

HOW DO YOU TELL A MAN YOU JUST STARTED DATING, THAT THE REASON YOU ARE WRITHING IN PAIN IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO FART.

The more I held it in, the more pain would shoot through my stomach and down my legs. I was even having to raise myself off the seat, gripping on to my door and the dashboard.

“Seriously, you need to hurry – I’m in a lot of pain.” I managed to say through gritted teeth.

“Wow, it’s that bad? What’s wrong? Do I need to take you to a hospital?”

How do you tell a man you just started dating that the reason you’re writhing in pain is because you have to fart?

Well, you can either tell him, or like me, let the fart speak for itself.

People, hear me. There was nothing I could do. As impressive as I am with sphincter control, this was out of my hands. Slowly, it eeked out. The more I tried to stop it, the more it forced its way through the door. However, to my pleasant surprise, there was no sound. I sat silently, sweat accumulating above my upper lip. Ok, maybe I got away with it. Maybe I’m home free. Then it hit me. Not an idea, a cloud. A horrific, fart cloud. Not in a, “am I smelling something?” sort of way. More like a “is someone dead and rotting in your trunk and am I in hell?” sort of way.

Suddenly, I panicked. “Roll down the windows!” I screamed (yes, I literally screamed it like I was in a horror movie).

“What? Why?” Rob asked, starting to freak out because I was freaking out.

“I can’t roll down the windows, unlock it! UNLOCK IT!”

“What’s going on?” Rob yells back to me, “Why are you …” then it hit him. I could see it in his eyes. Was it surprise? Horror? Water started to accumulate at the base of his eyelids, “Oh my God, I CAN TASTE IT!” he screamed.

“Roll down the windows!” As I screamed, the toots started to flood out uncontrollably. I scratched and clawed at the window like I was being kidnapped. Rob, unable to see either by fart cloud or panic, kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of unlocking the window.

It was chaos. We were acting like we were under siege by gun fire. We were under siege alright, just not by gun fire.

Finally he was able to hit the right control and he rolled down our windows. We both gulped in fresh air. I was horrified, yet happy to be alive, then remembered I just farted on the man of dreams, then sorta wished I was dead.

We sat silently for the rest of the way home. Although the shooting pains had subsided, I now desperately needed to use the bathroom, in an urgent, explosive kind of way.

He pulled up to my apartment and before he could come to a stop I had already jumped out, “Ok, thanks for dinner, sorry about the fart, love the shoes!” and ran in to my apartment like I was running from the cops.

I burst through my door and ran straight for the bathroom, where I was finally able to unleash and make noises that no one should ever, EVER, hear coming from another person.

Then I heard it. Rob’s voice. Right. Outside. My. Bathroom. Door.

“Anna? You left your shoes in my car and your front door was open. Where do you want me to put them?”

“Get away from the door!” I scream like Reagan from The Exorcist.

“Ok, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

toot toot splatter ungodly noise

“I’m fine, Rob – just leave the shoes there. I’ll call you later okay?”

“Okay, are you sure you’re …”

“I’m fine! Get away from the door!”

This man! I mean, I love him, but take a freakin’ hint!

Finally, I heard the front door shut, and the Cobra engine zoom away. I thought that was the last I’d hear from him. I didn’t think it was possible to ever see a man again after he screams he can taste your fart after only knowing you for 48 hours.

But, to my surprise, I did. A couple days later, actually. Now we’re married and he’s lying on the couch while I type this … “It was your rack that saved you,” he just lovingly reminded me.

Interviewing ten girls about the best leggings to fart in Girl 2 Imagine

 

 

 

 

Girl 2 this one Blimy what a girl

She came in wearing tight pink vanquish scrunch bum yoga pants with a panty line, she had some kind of tanga panty underneath, her name was Imagin she was a petite blond with a very pert backside, for her size it really poked out in the shorts. She came in was very confident immediately asked to use the toilet and giggled that she really needed to fart. I said please just fart as the whole interview was about that anyway , she said it will stink are you sure I said yes go ahead , she pushed and a hot airy woosh of gas squirted into the panties and shorts , the hot smell of poo filled the room , she apologised and asked where I wanted her to sit . I told her to sit on the chair behind the table and told her that the interview would last 10 minutes, it was about her farting habits and clothing whilst in the gym, I said once she was ready, she could start, and the timer would go on .

Imagin said before setting the timer she would explain a little of her background, but I was ok still to film this part. She said she was 23 and rented a one-bedroom flat as she had fell out with her mum who was a single parent and left home at 22 and the reason why was embarrassing and stupid to be honest but when she had told her previous boyfriend he had found it erotic. She said that she had some kind of problem with her stomach, she had tried all different foods , medication everything but her stomach was always full to the brim with gas and she had a fart ready every time she pushed , like every time , she said she could hold onto them if she really tried for ten minutes then she would have to let one go to relieve the pressure on her arsehole . In fact, she said need the toilet now. I told her to just let them go and that I had a fetich for them hence this project. She lent slightly backwards and farted through the shorts, so the fart escaped between her legs, her farts smelled of fresh poo. Ok back to the story she said ooops so sorry they stink don’t they. Between the ages of 16 and 22 the issue started it was 2 things one was the smell , I tried going to the toilet to fart as much as I could but needing to constantly fart doesn’t make that realistic so a lot of them she was letting go wherever she was in the house , in her bedroom it was ok she could open a window and just keep pushing them out , sometimes she could fart 30 times in 2 hours , double what most people farted in a day , but the house stunk of her farts all over, she farted in the kitchen , dining room hallway , her mum would say Imagine how can we live like this the house smells of poo around the clock , how can I invite anyone . Imagine lent back and farted through her yoga shorts again, hot woosh of stinky air. I told my mother I couldn’t help it, that’s when I had visited doctors, but nothing worked. The second thing was her knickers, all the farting was putting thick brown skid marks in them , her mum was disgusted when she went to the dirty washing basket and found all her knickers with stains, but Imagine said that all the farting also made her pussy very wet so not only did they have a long brown skid mark but crusty pussy juice stains and they just smelled filthy . Her mum said she would throw the knickers in the bin and make Imagine buy new ones every week. I then had to start washing them myself; to be honest they smelled of arse and pussy so should have given my mum a break, but it just made me annoyed.

I realise now how unreasonable I had been but now I was washing my own dirty knickers I though I would get my own back , so I started wearing a t-shirt that covered the top half of my arse and just panties around the house , I would sit on the armchair with my legs slight open so you could see my knicker gusset and every time I needed to fart which was often I would lean back so my knickers would show more and push the fart out the front of my tight drawers , My mum would look at me in disgust and spray the room sometimes just watching tv I would fart like this 10 times , my pussy was very wet and the front of the knickers were getting see through . Then I would go and eat and whilst washing up would poke my arse out and fart through my knickers making my mum very angry especially as my pussy was glistening with moisture through the knickers and a brown skid mark was coming through .

 TO BE CONTINUED 

 

High School Sitting

 

 

 

 

This is a story of a highschool experience involving my girl friend and a few of her friends.

I had known Shelly for several months, and always wanted to ask her to sit on me, but was too bashful.
Shelly stood about 5' 5" and weighed around 140 pounds. I always walked her and her girl friend Martha to school a distance of about 2 miles. Now Martha stood around 5' 7" and weighed around 185 pounds.

I was not a really big guy, standing 5' 7" at that time, and weighed 135 pounds.

One day Martha was sick, so as I was walking Shelly to school, I got the nerve to ask her to sit on me. To my surprise, she said yes. Since this was Friday morning, she said for me to come over to her house around 6PM as her folks were going to be out of town. She said to be ready because there was nothing she'd like more than to sit on me.

Well, that really got me exited.

That evening I showed up at 6, and was invited into her house. I also noted that Martha was there. Martha said, "So you like being sat upon huh? Well, we are ready, are you?"

Both girls were in skirts as was the fashion in the late 1950's. I was told to lay down on the couch on my stomach. After I did this Shelly sat on my rump, and Martha sat on my lower back, straddling me in a SGP. Martha then took my hands and tied them behind my back. She then moved down to my feet and tied my legs together at both the knees and ankles. Martha then moved up and dropped on my upper back knocking the wind out of me. She told Shelly to move up so that she was sitting on my hands. Shelly did, but said that that was unconfortable for her. She got an over stuffed cushion from a chair, placed that over my tied hands, and sat on that, saying that that was much more comfortable. I could tell that I was in trouble, because with their combined weights on me, plus my hands being tied all of their weight was pressing down on me. After they sat on me for about 20 minutes, Martha got up and sat on my head, dropping from a standing position. My head was driven into the bottom of the couch like a pile driver had done it. Martha just sat there, bouncing occationally banging my head into the bottom of the couch. Shelly got an idea, and got up and told Martha to do the same. They rolled me on the floor and removed the couch cushions. They then ordered me to lay on my back on the couch, placed the couch cushions on me. Martha then sat on the cushion on my chest, and Shelly sat on the one over my face. Then together the two girls would get up and drop on me several times. Shelly said that this really exited her as she could feel my nose being pushed into her privates and butt. What I did not realise at that time was that they had taken their skirts off and had nothing covering their bottom half. The more Shelly would bounce, driving my head into the wooden base of the couch, the more exited she would get, and bounce harder. Martha suggested that she take the cushion from my face and pile drive my face that way. When shelly did, all I could see was this 140 pound butt coming my way. She drove my nose into her butt, and then just sat there wiggleing untill she got comfy. She would then grind on my face, and after 5 minutes or so, she let out a screem of delight as she climaxed all over my face. She then just sat there. During the grinding I could breath somewhat, but now with her sitting full weight, and Martha on my chest, I could not breath. I think they sat there for another minute of so. Martha wanted her turn at my face, so they both got off. Shelly sat on my stomach after removing the other couch cushion, and Martha sat on my face in a reverse SGP. Martha started to grind and squarm, bouncing on my face and occationally banging my head on the base of the couch. Since Martha weighed 180 pounds, she was able to smother me completely. After a few minutes of this treatment, she climaxed, then just sat there in the reverse SGP. I guess being under both girls was too much for me as I passed out. When I came to, I found myself kneeling in front of an over stuffed chair, and what I thought to be Martha sitting on my head in the chair. I also realized that they had gaged me with one of their panties, and tied it into position using a rag. Martha realizing that I had come to got off. They then rolled me over in the chair and Martha then sat on my face again. After about 30 seconds or so she raised up allowing me a few breaths through my nose. I then was the reciepient of a fart, then total darkness as she slammed her butt on my face and sat there. Martha told me that Shelly would be with me shortly as she went to the bathroom and took a dump. She said that she would set there untill Shelly came back. After another 2 minutes under Martha's butt I passed out again. When I came to, shelly was sitting high on my chest. When she knew I was awake, she sat there for another minute or so. She then told me that she had taken a dump, and had not wiped very clean. She then moved up on my face and sat there. After a few seconds she raised up allowing me to breath. Since she did not wipe too clean, I got to "enjoy" the smell of her butt plus the stuff that comes out of it. It was nasty. After a few more breaths, she sat down again. Martha then came and sat on my lower chest bouncing really hard. I was really close to passing out again, when Shelly raised up a bit and just as I took my first breath she farted right into my nose a long one lasting about 3 seconds or so. She then dropped on my face again cutting off any hope of more much needed air. While the two girls were sitting on me, Martha started to rub my dick, and brought me to a climax. They then decided to sit on me untill I passed out again, and did so.

TWO POSTS FROM A GIRLS CHAT FORUM

 

 

 1. 

 I work in an office with all girls and a girl boss , the boss is very prim and proper thinks she is better than the rest of us , she is a petite brunette very smartly dressed alsways having ago at us for sill things , been at the company for 6 months then this happened , the girls loo has 3 cubicles to service the 12 girls on our floor , I went to the toilet lunchtime just for a number 1 and in front of me was the boss , she had on her usual better than everyone else skirt suit , she was around a size 8 so what happened next blew my mind she see me behind her and just hurried into the toilet without comment , only 2 cubicles were free as I never like going in the ne next to someone else if possible , one cubicle was out of order , the boss went in the one to the left I went into the one next to her the only one . I sat down on the toilet with my knickers round my ankles to pee. I hear her next door shuffling and then an airy fart , then she just sarted letting them go one after another really eggy smell came into my cubicle , I could hear her remove her knickers and and sit on the toilet , more farts then a plop a few more plops then a fart , I could her her maoning as she pushed and more plops I had finsihed weeing but couldt resist hearing my so perfect boss emptying her arse on the toilet , the plops just kept coming mixed with farts , she was literraly filling the toilet with shit , tens minutes had passed and she was still farting and shitting . I though what an oppurtunity to be had so I sat there waiting for her to finsih this was like 20 minutes , I heard her finally pull up her knickers and the noise of the chain , she was swearing under her breath she had clogged the toilet , I made sure I came out of my cubicle at the same time I said hope you are ok Lorraine , she was read with embarrsement and said yeah but I think I have clogged the toilet , after that she gave me so much slack in fear of me telling any of the others 

 

2. 

 

suffer from gas like all the time , I am around 35 single as not many of the men I dated could take all my farts , to be honest , I can usually let them go in public discreetly , somedays are better than others but on a bad day im farting every 3 to 4 minutes , the gas is usually really hot stinky silent air intestinal gas as i seem to be intolarent to most foods , milk really get me tooting . I found the best way to do it discreetly in public is to wear a skirt and a some tanga style panties underneath these seem to slow the flow from my arse so the air is really silent .

When I am out if its outside ill pop down a side road if no one is around ill push hard to rid myself of enough of the gas as possible ,some farts can be 50 seconds long if I push them out , really hot in my knickers as they come out and even out side the area smells of rotten eggs . if its buy ill slowly let them out in my underwear hoping the crowd will mask any noise and people would not think the awful smell was me as im a girl .

on a bad day ive farted 70 times in my underwear by the time I go to bed , my knickers literally reek by the time I remove them , gym days are the worst but I have found a thong and scrunch bum leggings help me hold them in , the tight material between my cheeks gives me something to brace against . I usally excuse myself a few times saying Ive drunk to much water and go fart in the toilet . I have leaked a few by accident though expecially in LBT downward dog is murder , the position makes the farts overcome the pressure of the tight clothing sometimes and I have farted a hot stream of air with my arse in the air , the other girls know me so just giggle .

wish I could solve it as unless I find a man that likes farts im going to be signle for life .

 

 

Forum part 2

 

 

 

 

I had cream scrunch bum shorts and a black thong underneath really tight on my arse and pussy , I got aroused just farting in the tight shorts and panties the hot feeling of the fart in my underwear made my pussy wet , the farts were always hot and silent in these shorts and for the life of me cannot work out why by they always smelled of rotten eggs only when I wore these shorts . Ok so in the mirror could see the guy trying to look at my arse as I squatted I know the thong would show through the yoga shorts when I bent in them on the 3^rd set my tight little arsehole was hanging on for dear life to a fart so I had no choice but to release it , it was like a red hot silent jet of air that soaked through my knickers and shorts it was just whooshing air faintly audible but it stunk like the usual rotten eggs that I only get with these shorts tried researching how material can change the smell of a girls fart , only thing that come up if your panties are dirty the bacteria changes the smell . My panties always clean I just think it’s the tightness of everything that makes me fart more and the farts smell.

The whole area behind me stunk of the hot fart, the guy couldn’t believe his luck the hot arse he had been ogling had produced this hot sexy smell as I see he had a hard on and had to sit down to hide it on the bench I could resist I pushed out another one , but pushed really hard so the fart kept coming out for 50 seconds and literally drowned the area in panty and fart smell . My pussy was so wet I had to walk out of the gym with my bag over my front, I couldn’t wait to get home and relive the orgasm that was on the edge. Usually done this one the bed with the leggings on and put my hand down the leggings and played with my pussy over the front of the panties , this meant I could fart into the leggings and feel the fart coming through the knickers .