Schooled By: cmoney34

 

 It was the Friday before summer break for you and your classmates in high school. You weren't one of the brightest kids in class and you had a big ego. To be honest you hated the idea of waking up early to go through the hell you and other kids considered school. However getting out for Spring break, Summer break, Thanksgiving break, and Winter break made it worth pushing through. Unfortunately your next break would be a permanent one.

It was 2:00pm and you were in Miss Jeannine's Math Class. Math, the most hated subject by kids in school. You were in the middle of the Math Final test when you did the one thing you always did when a test came up. You pulled out your phone and started to cheat. You've done this time and time again without somehow getting caught, but that wouldn't be the case this time. Miss Jeannine was in between doing work on the computer and watching the class and you thought you were so clever to use your phone while she was too focused on getting her work done. "Hey!!!," she yelled at you while looking below your desk at your phone for answer. "Are you cheating on the Final test?!" "Uh no," you said but you knew deep down you were caught dead to rights. She proceeded to get up and walk swiftly over to you at your desk keeping her focus to make sure you couldn't make any sudden moves. "Really?!" Was all she said as she looked under the desk to see your phone still in your hand. "Come on teach, it's the last day before Summer break. Just let it slide and forget about it. It's not like it really matters anyway." "Oh really?" She said not liking your tone. "Well you'll be happy to know you'll be starting your break off late, because you're going to stay after school in detention to retake a backup test unde my permanent supervision along with the other cheater I've caught today who thought they were so clever." What the fuck?!!" "Are you mad bitch?!!" "I already hate being here normally and you think I'm going to stay here longer on the final day before Summer break because you want to have a huge stick up your fat ass instead of being a cool teach and letting it slide?!" She stopped for a moment and stared at you for a while before saying "it's either that or I fail you and make you go to summer school, your choice." "Fine bitch, I'll do the fucking backup test later. God damn, you're annoying as fuck." "Noted," she said.

The bell rung and while everyone else rushed out her door to start the break you stayed behind staring off into space waiting for the detention to actually start. The door opens, and in comes the other student who was caught cheating on the Final test, Mike. "She caught you too?," Mike said. "Yeah, I'm honestly surprised it just now happened after how many times I've been doing it." "Ah, so you got cocky and careless," Mike said. "You're in where with me too buddy, you're not hot shit either." After that last comment the door opens and Miss Jeannine enters with a huge shit eating grin on her face. "Welcome to detention students," she said. "I know I've told you that you will be retaking a different version of the final under my watch. However, that won't be happening." "What?!!" You both said in shock and confusion. "Well that was originally the plan for you, however since (Mr/Miss) badass over here wants to mouth off and try to embarrass me in front of my own class, I've decided to go a different route for this very special detention."

"What do you mean?," you said. Miss Jeannine began to explain. "Remember how you called me fat ass?" "Yeah," you responded. "Well the truth is I've had this curvy figure since my school days and people used to bully me for it. It also didn't help that I was a more hairier than average girl." "I had to deal with that shit every day through out the school weeks until one day I discovered an interesting book." "An interesting book?," Mike said. "Yeah, in fact it's one of a series I've been following heavily since my school days," she said. "It's called Large and in Charge. It follows the life of a curvy and huge Rabbit woman named Lady O'Hare. She also shares a similar figure as I. However, she is an intimidating figure." "Not only is she wealthy, but she has this strange ability she got from mixing together certain ingredients and substances together to make a concoction and drink it." "It's the ability for her to absorb anyone into her body and add them to her mass. She's done it to many people throughout the series. Some were willing and enjoyed it, others weren't so much." "Where are you going with this?," you said.

"I decided to recreate the concoction and see if it works in the real world or was it just horseshit," she answered. "And?," Mike asked. "Oh, it works, it really fucking works," she responded. "See I've grown to like my curvy figure, so much I've become just like Miss O'Hare. Not in the sense of being wealthy, at least yet. But feeling the need to not only keep this figure, but make it bigger." "Ummm," you and Mike both said weirded out.

"So that's what I'm going to do now," Miss Jeannine stated. Before you and Mike could do anything in response Miss Jeannine turned, bent down and let out a huge fart out of her huge ass. Prrrbbbttt... You and Mike began to cough before slowly blacking out as her fart encased the entire classroom. Minutes passed, before you began to slowly wake up. "Man, what happened," you said. You wake up and are in shock at what's happening in front of you in the classroom. It was Miss Jennanine, fully naked, curvy, and hairy as she had said earlier. However that wasn't the most shocking thing currently happening. You see a second pair of legs kneeling behind her. It was Mike. He was halfway into Miss Jeannine's huge stinking ass and releasing muffled screams. "Mhmm!!!Mhmm!!! Mhmm!!!," he let out before Miss Jeannine let out another huge fart. Brrrttt... Another fart out of her huge ass began to cover the room and you began to black out again. But before you did, you could see her doing a full squat and Mike's legs fully disappearing up her massive derriere.

More time passed, but you woke up once again. However, it was completely dark, smelly, and squishy. "What the hell is this?!!," you yelled. "Oh, you don't know?," Miss Jeannine said. "You're halfway in the same fat ass, you commented on earlier in the day. Only it's even bigger thanks to the added mass from Mr. Mike. You don't remember? Well this should jog your memory. She let out the biggest fart she had yet. Prrrrrttttttt... Brrrrttt... Oh dear," she said in a sarcastic manner. "Please, I'll never disrespect you again," you said. "Oh God what's this chunky stuff around my cheeks," you asked? Miss Jeannine, chuckles and says, "forbidden chocolate." "Get used to the smell, texture, and taste. It'll be around for a while."

You feel your body begin to meld with the inside of Miss Jeannine's huge stinking ass. "You wanted to be a badass? Well this is how you become a badAss. Ha Ha" Miss Jeannine proudly said. "Nooo... Mmph, Mmph," you desperately let out in futility as your body was fully absorbed and added into Miss Jeannine's mass.

You were not regretfully part of the same fat ass bitch you were mouthing off at earlier. Brrrttt... "Well that takes care of that," Miss Jeannine said as she smiles and begins to put her clothes back on. She begins to walk towards the classroom door bouncing her massive ass cheeks up and down on the way out. Proud of her adding two cheating brats to her mass. "Time for my Summer vacation. Maybe I'll get some Taco Bell with extra Diablo sauce for Dinner today," she says as she exits the class and school like it was any other day with you and Mike in tow.

Girls only forum from 2003

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amanda K

Any other girls get this problem, I know it sounds weird but am I alone, I am a 30 something female got a good figure, my best features are my bum I get so many comments from men and women about it . I am like most girls I like to dress sexy and if you’ve got it flaunt it ,my favorite type of clothing for work  is a mid-thigh length skirt that is close fitting to accentuate my arse I absolutely love tight Brazilian style knickers favorite colour is cream my boyfriend loves them also and he  often puts his hand up my skirt to feel them. So sexy going to work knowing I have sexy knickers under my skirt. here is the issue its started happening 6 months, just started one random morning I showered, put on my work blouse and got a pair of flesh-coloured knickers tight Brazilian fit, just love the tight feel of them on my bum and Vagina walk round the office semi aroused all day. Put on a blue skirt I sometimes gave a random guy a treat on the train a with bit of knicker gusset flash between my legs but once my issue started couldn’t risk it might be far too embarrassing  .I was in a rush so had not had time for my morning poop I’m not a gassy girl never have been , but on the walk to the station I felt the need to fart I was on an empty street so though would carefully push it out aware that I had not pooped yet , I slowly pushed it out into my knickers it was a really hot silent fart the bum of my knickers heated up as it filtered though them to be honest it felt naughty farting in a public place especially through such sexy knickers .

The smell of rotten egg was very strong even in the outdoors I flapped my skirt to get rid on the trapped fart under my skirt , I walked another 100 yards still in the empty street when I needed to fart again , Usually if I needed to fart at work I would visit the toilet and take of my knickers and fart in the toilet bowl but I wasn’t gassy that often so this was a rare occurrence . I liked light coloured knickers so never wanted to risk staining them with a fart. I was literally walking down the street to get to the station so other than trying to hold the fart all the way until I could go into the work toilet I had not other choice but to release another one in my knickers, I just hoped the fart would be clean and not stain my drawers. I done the same as before slowly pushed the fart into my knickers it felt exactly the same as the last fart really hot and silent warming up my tight knickers as it went through them , to be honest it wasn’t an unpleasant experience but a little raunchy I imagined my poor little knickers up my skirt getting flooded with hot fart gas , the smell wafted up strongly that wasn’t unpleasant either always like the smell of my own farts .

It was only another 50 yards when I needed to fart again, to be honest before I realized, I had a problem this first time walk to work was exciting I couldn’t put my finger on it but just felt Raunchy out in the street farting in my tight little knickers. I got to the alley hardly anyone ever walked down this alley, so it was always empty just as I walked into the alley oh my gosh I needed to fart again I pushed it out into my knickers it was even hotter than the previous one nearly burnt my little bum hole as it came out flooding through my knicks . I looked around no sign of anybody I had to check my knickers were not stained as I had already farted in them 4 times. I got my mobile and put it on selfie with the flashlight on and slightly spread my legs and took a selfie up my skirt.

I looked at the picture it was illuminated upskirt shot of my tight knickers , never really seen what a guy would see if he looked up my skirt , I thought no wonder guys like looking up a girls skirt , you could see the tight flesh coloured knickers stretched tight over my vagina , you could see the outline of the split , the tight material trying to contain my pert bum cheeks an erotic site if I said so myself . The knickers to my delight were still clean no poo stains in them. Doing this in public was making my vagina aroused could feel the moisture in my knicker gusset now had to worry my knickers were not going to by stained by excess pussy juice from my arousal ohh being a girl wasn’t easy sometimes . I carried on walking down the alley way got to the end then felt another fart that needed to come out , this was ridiculous 225 meters from my house and I need to fart for the 5^th time to be honest was excited I had to fart again the feeling of it filling my knickers with warmth and the eggy smell now that I was aroused was naughty and very sexy . I stopped at the end of the alley to fart I was ahead of time so though this must be the last fart before I got to the station. I opened my legs a little and pushed , like the other farts it was hot and silent but this one was 40 seconds long at least it filtered through my knickers and made them very warm , a hot egg smell wafted up , I was tempted to go back home as my partner was out and I really wanted to masturbate my pussy though these knickers until I cum. The only issue was I had a meeting at ten I had no choice but to go into work I carried on walking towards the station at the station entrance it was busy and I could not believe I had to fart again , they seemed endless as soon as I farted 3 to 4 minutes later I needed to fart again ,

I looked around but this station had no toilet that was not out of order , to be honest the toilet had been out of order for the last year , I really needed it now knowing how smelly these farts were doing it in public was going to be a nightmare , I was in a flow of people going to the entry gate I really need to go though I though I would risk it and prayed it was silent like the others . I just unclenched my tight arsehole and let the fart out it filled my knickers like the previous one completely silent was about 30 seconds long. The area immediately smelled of eggy fart , people were complaining and looking around but thank go no one suspected the pretty girl in the skirt , my poor little knickers were taking a lot of punishment today , the fact that I had on such sexy drawer’s and I had done a really hot fart in public was making me giddy . I wanted to do it again now I had gotten away with it, gosh when I got home tonight, I was going to masturbate until I exploded.

I felt another fart in my bum this time it was there quicker after the last fart only 40 or so seconds. I let the fart escape and thank god it was super-hot but silent , it filled my knickers eagerly the air smelled rich with eggy fart .If the people in the queue only knew that is was the pretty girl with the pert bum that was farting hot farts though her tight knickers they would be shocked . I got through the gate and need to fart on the platform, but it wasn’t so crowded like the queue, but the fart was pushing against the inside of my arsehole, needed to fart before getting on train as I am sure another one will be ready, to many in my arse I could not hold. Now I was in a bit of a panic train was 5 minutes away I see the end of the platform was empty but the train didn’t come that far up the platform I walked quickly up to the end of the platform squeezing my arse hole so the fart would not escape I was waking with my arse cheeks together so looked a bit awkward , my knickers had wedged up my arse walking like this , at the end of the platform was a double sided sign with train times luckily it was floor to 5 feet high. I looked at the train times I had 4 minutes to sort my knickers out and fart, peaked round the sign and the nearest person was 30 yards away as long as the fart was silent, I would get away with it. I decided to pick my knickers out of my arse first that needed the most privacy all of this was feeling very raunchy in a public place. I spread my legs as much as I could with the tightness of my skirt and put my hand up the skirt , gosh this felt naughty doing this in public , my hand reach my bum , my bum was all warm and firm if I say so myself it felt sexy and I put my finger in the crack I could feel my tight knickers wedge up there , the were all warm also I pinched the material between 2 fingers and pulled the tight material slowly out of my arse as it came out so did a long hot silent fart , the change of pressure of the knickers against my arsehole let the fart out , there was a lot of hot gas flowing out of my little arsehole as it heated the knicker material and went all over my fingers as I pulled the knickers out of my arse . The hot knicker material, the smell of the eggy fart and the feel of it going all over my fingers made me want to go home and enjoy the farts and play with my vagina over the tight knickers until I cum. But I couldn’t miss the meeting I pushed another fart out into my now adjusted knickers and got back to the platform as the train pulled in, it was a 45-minute journey to the station near my work I Had farted 10 times in only 15-minute walk to the station. I thought if I get on the train quick and got a seat, I could use the seat to push against to hold and farts in until I got to the next station I managed to get a seat , only half a stop and I had another fart ready , I knew from the pressure of this fart that I wasn’t going to make 45 minutes , the train was packed my only solution was to stand in the crowd and release the fart with the hope it was totally silent and no one would expect the smell was from the pretty girls bum . I stood up and let the fart out in my knickers for the 13^th time, it was super-hot as it came out but without any sound, it went through my knickers, and the carriage was filled with the smell of hot eggy fart. People started moaning under their breath, no one looked at me though, who would think a petite pretty girl in her early thirties would fart on a train, I was exciting to do it in public in my tight knickers and get away with it. I so wished I could go home and masturbate I farted 3 more times in the next ten minutes in the same carriage, the urge to keep farting wasn’t stopping. The carriage smelled awful and my knickers were all hot and tight up my skirt, if I touched my pussy I would cum there and then I really wanted to touch my pussy through my knickers it was aching to be touched. I decided to move to the next carriage as I really needed to fart again and 4 farts someone might twig it’s from me walking was an effort the fart was right at my arsehole, only my knickers were holding it back as they were taught across my tight arsehole. I got into the next carriage hoping no one else had moved carriage I slightly spread my legs and squirted the hot fart through my knickers for around the 15^th time, the carriage filled with the smell of rotten egg and now what I though was the smell of dirty knickers. Almost immediately another fart was ready , I would really have some fund if I could go home now , the hot farts flooding my tight knickers and the eggy smell was such a turn on and I had farts on tap, if I was home  I would lay on my front with the knickers on and fart into my hand and play with my vagina through my knickers . I farted another 4 times in the carriage , I started to move to the next carriage as I could feel another fart and what was definitely poo in my arse , I had forgotten about the missed morning poop , now I was far to scared to fart , getting away with the eggy smell was one thing but filling my knickers with poo I couldn’t deal with .

I went through the next carriage clinging on for dear life to the urgent need to fart and poop. Luckily there was a toilet on the last carriage , I got to the toilet and luckily it was vacant as I could not hold it much longer, I went in and locked the door I lifted my skirt over my arse , then hovered over the toilet with the tight knickers still on , I pulled the material away from my bum as didn’t have time to get them off as I was clenching my arsehole for dear life , as soon as the knicker material was way from my little arsehole as hot fart squirted out followed quickly by a turd that slowly crackled out of my bum another fart followed and another turd , more farts kept silently whispering out of my tight arse I could feel more poo in my arse and belly but nothing more would come out other than hot farts , I wiped my bum with one hand then moved the knickers back into place felt my arse in the knickers and was amazed how sexy they felt tight over my bum , I put my finger over the knickers where my arsehole was and farted another hot silent eggy fart it felt hot coming through the knickers , I smelled my finger its was hot sulphury egg . I pushed a few more farts out, to be honest they were just endless. I pulled my skirt over my bum flushed the 2 turds and paper and went back into the carriage. Pooping out the 2 turds seemed to have made some room I managed to hold the gas in my arse for the rest of the journey, I could feel it in my arsehole, but it was easier to hold. I got of the train , but as I walked with the crowd to the exit gates farts just wooshed into my knickers again, the walking movement made it hard to hold the built up hot gas , a fart around 90 seconds long silent and hot filled my knickers for the 20 plus time. I managed to empty my arse of farts by the time I got to work, my knickers felt very warm and were literally stuck to my arse and pussy.

The gym receptionist’s gassy arse PART 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I went into the toilet, and it really smelled off rich fresh poo, she was standing there in the panties pulled tight over her arse, she announced she felt better but was still full of gas. I said are you ever not full of gas, she said very rarely, even in bed she would fart constantly. She asked if I wanted to see her fart in her knickers one more time before putting the trousers back on. I said can I touch one coming out, but she said no only smell for now, I said are you ok though as that was a lot of poo in the toilet. She said put your nose here and a hot fart squirted through her tight knickers, then when she could speak, she said she had been constipated for 5 days, she said she was often constipated. I said that probably why you are farting so much, she said her doctor said it was one of the reasons. She then pulled her trousers back on and made farted a few more times through them and the knickers and went to leave the toilet, I think I need to poo again she sighed. I said please let me stay and watch, what harm can it do.

She said you want to watch poo coming out of my arse that’s disgusting she said. I said humour me please its something I have always wanted to watch, and your arse is like heaven.

 

You think farting at work is bad, let me make you feel better.

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, a friend confided in me that during a meeting with a prospective client, she let out a little ripple of a fart. Not imperceptible in nature, nor earth shattering, but audible enough to make her turn a bright shade of red and wish that the ground would swallow her up there and then.

She recounted the story to me in a hushed tone and told me that she had never, in her life, felt so mortified. Being the stellar friend that I am, I laughed. I threw my head back and I laughed loudly.

“That’s nothing babe. I mean it’s bad, but it’s not that bad,” I reassured her, seconds before she considered dumping my unsympathetic arse and flushing our friendship of eight years down the toot.

I am no David Attenborough or life scientist, but it doesn’t take a genius to suggest that our poor little human bodies were just not designed for the modern workplace. Besides having to spend a large portion of our time with virtual strangers, we also have to endure up to eight hours a day indoors, bathed in artificial light and relying on ducted air for survival.

Elena at work winning Employee of the Month.

Add eating out of a plastic container whilst staring at 1.7 million pixels on a bright screen and the whole operation seems highly unnatural. At least from an evolutionary perspective.

The fact is, our bodies are not engineered for this. And as a result, they will fail us on occasion. It’s not a design fault. It’s a user application error. And we probably won’t get through our working years unscathed or without a few good war stories.

I mean, you just haven’t lived until you have been carted away in an ambulance mid presentation for work while forty sets of eyes witness your ugly crying face. Or until you’ve vomited haplessly in your cubicle at work while your colleagues looked on helplessly (albeit with a little disgust).

Or you know, until you’ve managed to soil yourself because you couldn’t get to the bathroom in time. It happens. Life happens. Bodies happen. We need chill out about it. No one has ever died of embarrassment (well not that I am immediately aware of.)

Trust me when I say, if it happens to you, you will be ok.

 

You see, I recently took a ride in my first ambulance. When I say recently, I mean last week.

When I say ‘ride’ I was lifted into a gurney and strapped in securely by a nice man in a blue uniform. I considered him to be a nice man because he offered me a painkiller spray which stopped the pain and made my arms numb. I considered him a friend immediately.

My new friend with his magic, arm numbing nose spray.

Earlier that morning, I had been delivering technical training for work in a regional conference centre and was at least two hours away from home. With a microphone in one hand, and tapping a keyboard with the other, I had 40 eager and expectant faces looking in my direction. The abdominal pain which had rather inconveniently started only minutes before I stood up to address the group was now reaching its apogee.

The acute desire to double over in agony was getting harder to ignore. My mind had flashed back to getting dressed hours earlier and having to wrangle an errant zipper which seemed intent on mocking me.

Maybe my pants really were just too tight after all. Being only half way through my presentation, my gut sent a red hot and unexpected memo to my brain. ‘You have 15 seconds to wrap this up gracefully.’

And if experience has taught me anything, it’s that when your body does you the courtesy of giving you a 15 second lead time to make a graceful exit you take it – no questions asked.

 

So I wrapped up my presentation. I smiled widely like an idiot, told the group that we would have to finish it up there and handed the microphone back to my puzzled colleague who looked as though I had just announced that there was a bright pink unicorn motioning to me from the back of the room.

I then hobbled to the door clutching my stomach, made my way into the hallway and crumpled into a heap behind an oversized pot plant.

It’s funny that even in times of crisis, your inner good girl knows just where to collapse so that you don’t unnecessarily inconvenience anyone – or ‘be a bother’ as my Nanna might say.

And that’s how they found me – two pointy black stilettos pointing out from behind a pot plant in the foyer. Despite the Wicked Witch of the West undertones, you had to award points for trying to minimise the fuss.

The mortifying bit? Despite all attempts to be inconspicuous, I was later wheeled past a windowed wall where forty faces peered out at me while I was being lifted into the ambulance.

Luckily, I was given the all clear at hospital, with no serious cause for the pain identified (which kind of makes it all worse in a way). But I will probably forever be known at work as ‘that girl who fainted during training.’

As for vomiting in public, I can’t even say I am limited to only one episode, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I’ve vomited as I stepped off the netball court (just in time – granted, the stomach full of Fanta and orange slices did me no favours). Outside a nightclub in the Cross where I learnt that no, you actually can’t mix alcohol and cold and flu tablets (we were all rookies once). And last week in the hospital.

 

But none of those times, even combined, is as bad as having to endure the looks of pity when you are sick in front of your colleagues. In the office. At your desk. Caught off guard. And not long after your office has just implemented a no personal bin policy to encourage the minimisation of waste (and to reduce their expenses).

If those tales aren’t enough to give you hope that you might one day hold your head again high, spare a thought for one poor Reddit user and a primary school teacher known as Nomah The Great, who in her haste to get to work at a local primary school accidentally threw back a fair amount of prune juice instead of her usual cranberry.

Attributing her stomach growls to her breakfast muffin and a subsequent 4 coffees, Nomah The Great thought she would let off a little silent one in the classroom. Sadly, she had more to contend with than just a jet stream of hot air.

As my husband says, sometimes you just can’t trust a fart.

Fact: our bodies will occasionally betray us at work. We are, above all, human. So let’s support a sister next time our anatomy fails us. It’s likely to happen after all.

And I bet that little fart that escaped during your last meeting doesn’t look so bad now, does it?