Girls only forum from 2003

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amanda K

Any other girls get this problem, I know it sounds weird but am I alone, I am a 30 something female got a good figure, my best features are my bum I get so many comments from men and women about it . I am like most girls I like to dress sexy and if you’ve got it flaunt it ,my favourite type of clothing for work  is a mid-thigh length skirt that is close fitting to accentuate my arse I absolutely love tight Brazilian style knickers favourite colour is cream my boyfriend loves them also and he  often puts his hand up my skirt to feel them. So sexy going to work knowing I have sexy knickers under my skirt. here is the issue its started happening 6 months, just started one random morning I showered, put on my work blouse and got a pair of flesh-coloured knickers tight Brazilian fit, just love the tight feel of them on my bum and Vagina walk round the office semi aroused all day. Put on a blue skirt I sometimes gave a random guy a treat on the train a with bit of knicker gusset flash between my legs but once my issue started couldn’t risk it might be far too embarrassing  .I was in a rush so had not had time for my morning poop I’m not a gassy girl never have been , but on the walk to the station I felt the need to fart I was on an empty street so though would carefully push it out aware that I had not pooped yet , I slowly pushed it out into my knickers it was a really hot silent fart the bum of my knickers heated up as it filtered though them to be honest it felt naughty farting in a public place especially through such sexy knickers .

The smell of rotten egg was very strong even in the outdoors I flapped my skirt to get rid on the trapped fart under my skirt , I walked another 100 yards still in the empty street when I needed to fart again , Usually if I needed to fart at work I would visit the toilet and take of my knickers and fart in the toilet bowl but I wasn’t gassy that often so this was a rare occurrence . I liked light coloured knickers so never wanted to risk staining them with a fart. I was literally walking down the street to get to the station so other than trying to hold the fart all the way until I could go into the work toilet I had not other choice but to release another one in my knickers, I just hoped the fart would be clean and not stain my drawers. I done the same as before slowly pushed the fart into my knickers it felt exactly the same as the last fart really hot and silent warming up my tight knickers as it went through them , to be honest it wasn’t an unpleasant experience but a little raunchy I imagined my poor little knickers up my skirt getting flooded with hot fart gas , the smell wafted up strongly that wasn’t unpleasant either always like the smell of my own farts .

It was only another 50 yards when I needed to fart again, to be honest before I realised, I had a problem this first time walk to work was exciting I couldn’t put my finger on it but just felt Raunchy out in the street farting in my tight little knickers. I got to the alley hardly anyone ever walked down this alley, so it was always empty just as I walked into the alley oh my gosh I needed to fart again I pushed it out into my knickers it was even hotter than the previous one nearly burnt my little bum hole as it came out flooding through my knicks . I looked around no sign of anybody I had to check my knickers were not stained as I had already farted in them 4 times. I got my mobile and put it on selfie with the flashlight on and slightly spread my legs and took a selfie up my skirt.

The gym receptionist’s gassy arse PART 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I went into the toilet, and it really smelled off rich fresh poo, she was standing there in the panties pulled tight over her arse, she announced she felt better but was still full of gas. I said are you ever not full of gas, she said very rarely, even in bed she would fart constantly. She asked if I wanted to see her fart in her knickers one more time before putting the trousers back on. I said can I touch one coming out, but she said no only smell for now, I said are you ok though as that was a lot of poo in the toilet. She said put your nose here and a hot fart squirted through her tight knickers, then when she could speak, she said she had been constipated for 5 days, she said she was often constipated. I said that probably why you are farting so much, she said her doctor said it was one of the reasons. She then pulled her trousers back on and made farted a few more times through them and the knickers and went to leave the toilet, I think I need to poo again she sighed. I said please let me stay and watch, what harm can it do.

She said you want to watch poo coming out of my arse that’s disgusting she said. I said humour me please its something I have always wanted to watch, and your arse is like heaven.

 

You think farting at work is bad, let me make you feel better.

 

 

 

 

 

Recently, a friend confided in me that during a meeting with a prospective client, she let out a little ripple of a fart. Not imperceptible in nature, nor earth shattering, but audible enough to make her turn a bright shade of red and wish that the ground would swallow her up there and then.

She recounted the story to me in a hushed tone and told me that she had never, in her life, felt so mortified. Being the stellar friend that I am, I laughed. I threw my head back and I laughed loudly.

“That’s nothing babe. I mean it’s bad, but it’s not that bad,” I reassured her, seconds before she considered dumping my unsympathetic arse and flushing our friendship of eight years down the toot.

I am no David Attenborough or life scientist, but it doesn’t take a genius to suggest that our poor little human bodies were just not designed for the modern workplace. Besides having to spend a large portion of our time with virtual strangers, we also have to endure up to eight hours a day indoors, bathed in artificial light and relying on ducted air for survival.

Elena at work winning Employee of the Month.

Add eating out of a plastic container whilst staring at 1.7 million pixels on a bright screen and the whole operation seems highly unnatural. At least from an evolutionary perspective.

The fact is, our bodies are not engineered for this. And as a result, they will fail us on occasion. It’s not a design fault. It’s a user application error. And we probably won’t get through our working years unscathed or without a few good war stories.

I mean, you just haven’t lived until you have been carted away in an ambulance mid presentation for work while forty sets of eyes witness your ugly crying face. Or until you’ve vomited haplessly in your cubicle at work while your colleagues looked on helplessly (albeit with a little disgust).

Or you know, until you’ve managed to soil yourself because you couldn’t get to the bathroom in time. It happens. Life happens. Bodies happen. We need chill out about it. No one has ever died of embarrassment (well not that I am immediately aware of.)

Trust me when I say, if it happens to you, you will be ok.

 

You see, I recently took a ride in my first ambulance. When I say recently, I mean last week.

When I say ‘ride’ I was lifted into a gurney and strapped in securely by a nice man in a blue uniform. I considered him to be a nice man because he offered me a painkiller spray which stopped the pain and made my arms numb. I considered him a friend immediately.

My new friend with his magic, arm numbing nose spray.

Earlier that morning, I had been delivering technical training for work in a regional conference centre and was at least two hours away from home. With a microphone in one hand, and tapping a keyboard with the other, I had 40 eager and expectant faces looking in my direction. The abdominal pain which had rather inconveniently started only minutes before I stood up to address the group was now reaching its apogee.

The acute desire to double over in agony was getting harder to ignore. My mind had flashed back to getting dressed hours earlier and having to wrangle an errant zipper which seemed intent on mocking me.

Maybe my pants really were just too tight after all. Being only half way through my presentation, my gut sent a red hot and unexpected memo to my brain. ‘You have 15 seconds to wrap this up gracefully.’

And if experience has taught me anything, it’s that when your body does you the courtesy of giving you a 15 second lead time to make a graceful exit you take it – no questions asked.

 

So I wrapped up my presentation. I smiled widely like an idiot, told the group that we would have to finish it up there and handed the microphone back to my puzzled colleague who looked as though I had just announced that there was a bright pink unicorn motioning to me from the back of the room.

I then hobbled to the door clutching my stomach, made my way into the hallway and crumpled into a heap behind an oversized pot plant.

It’s funny that even in times of crisis, your inner good girl knows just where to collapse so that you don’t unnecessarily inconvenience anyone – or ‘be a bother’ as my Nanna might say.

And that’s how they found me – two pointy black stilettos pointing out from behind a pot plant in the foyer. Despite the Wicked Witch of the West undertones, you had to award points for trying to minimise the fuss.

The mortifying bit? Despite all attempts to be inconspicuous, I was later wheeled past a windowed wall where forty faces peered out at me while I was being lifted into the ambulance.

Luckily, I was given the all clear at hospital, with no serious cause for the pain identified (which kind of makes it all worse in a way). But I will probably forever be known at work as ‘that girl who fainted during training.’

As for vomiting in public, I can’t even say I am limited to only one episode, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I’ve vomited as I stepped off the netball court (just in time – granted, the stomach full of Fanta and orange slices did me no favours). Outside a nightclub in the Cross where I learnt that no, you actually can’t mix alcohol and cold and flu tablets (we were all rookies once). And last week in the hospital.

 

But none of those times, even combined, is as bad as having to endure the looks of pity when you are sick in front of your colleagues. In the office. At your desk. Caught off guard. And not long after your office has just implemented a no personal bin policy to encourage the minimisation of waste (and to reduce their expenses).

If those tales aren’t enough to give you hope that you might one day hold your head again high, spare a thought for one poor Reddit user and a primary school teacher known as Nomah The Great, who in her haste to get to work at a local primary school accidentally threw back a fair amount of prune juice instead of her usual cranberry.

Attributing her stomach growls to her breakfast muffin and a subsequent 4 coffees, Nomah The Great thought she would let off a little silent one in the classroom. Sadly, she had more to contend with than just a jet stream of hot air.

As my husband says, sometimes you just can’t trust a fart.

Fact: our bodies will occasionally betray us at work. We are, above all, human. So let’s support a sister next time our anatomy fails us. It’s likely to happen after all.

And I bet that little fart that escaped during your last meeting doesn’t look so bad now, does it?

The gym receptionist’s gassy arse PART 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

I said to her that her bum was delicious and anything that came out of it would be delicious also, especially coming through the sexy panties, I told her I could not believe how hot her arse looked in the knickers. She said her arse felt good in the tight knickers also that’s why she liked wearing tight knickers and trousers as the felt good tight across her arse and pussy. She put her fingers in her bum and started to pull the sexy material out of her arse a hot airy fart started coming out off her arse all over her fingers through the tight knicker material it was a lot of gas it just kept coming like , the toilet smelled of hot rotten egg and I’m sure the smell of the knickers the farts were coming through. She got them out of her crack, and they looked even better across her arse, I could see herp pussy was really wet with white cream showing through the gusset. She farted again through the knickers a few times then she said I would have to leave as she really needed a poo, I said can I stay and watch she said not this time she didn’t know me well enough and its embarrassing as she need to poo a lot. She started farting desperately and pleaded with me to leave so she could poop on the toilet. I said OK then but can I have the knickers to sniff and listen through the door then. She said ok then but go out ill pass the knickers through the gap in the door it’s too soon for you to see me naked she said but hurry I really need to go , I left the toilet and shut the door I listen through the door and could hear her removing her knickers and farting with desperation , she open the door a jar and passed me the sexy material . The cream lacey knickers were all warm from her arse; I looked in the gusset it was thick with pussy cream it looked like she had cum in them or was on the verge of cuming. The arse smelled of poop and farts I had the knickers up to my nose and I listened though the door, I could hear katy sit on the toilet and fart little desperate popping farts. I heard a plop, then another, then lots of plops close after each other, then it stopped I heard her wiping and then she farted again and sat back on the toilet and the plopping started again but in rapid succession with farts in between. The plopping stopped and I could her fart a few times and wipe her bum.

She came to the door and asked for her knickers back, I handed her them through the crack of the door. When she had them on, she told me to come into the toilet