I was in town at the theatre last night as my job is to review films,
restaraunts and popular places for my towns newspaper. I sat down in my
seat and tucked into my popcorn. Finally the performance started and I
watched in amazement at the characters fought eachother with pretend
fire blazing from their hands. I don't know how but after some time I
got completely lost in the performance and ignored the fact that i
desperately needed the toilet. After a large stomach cramp I bent over
in pain trying to hold in my ****, struggling i tried to remember the
last time i went to the toilet... saturday i remembered. It's
now wednesday and my bowels were seriously struggling. I bit my lip as i
realised i couldn't really leave half way through because I couldn't
give a review on a performance i had hardly watched. I decided to wait
for the interval in about ten minutes time. i crossed my legs and
wiggled around on my seat as the **** begged to be let out. I groaned
quietly and was un-heard thanks to being at the back of the theatre. I
squirmed un-comfortably around in my seats as the curtains fell for the
interval i slowly stood up careful to not release my **** into my pants.
I waddled to the toilet feeling my stomach rumble in pure pain. I
joined a very large que as two of the toilets seemed to be broken. The
pain was even worse standing up and realising i would not be able to
hold in my **** standing up i waddled back to my seat. The theatre was
almost entirely empty as most people had gone for ice cream or the
toilet. I sunk into my seat squeezing my cheeks together ferociously. I
needed to fart so badly so i thought i'd let out a little gas. I slanted
to my side as i farted, crap i thought realising i had just made a huge
mistake. the **** wanted out NOW and i realised i wouldn't make it to
the toilet as i'd have to join a que. So i jumped up and decided to head
to my car because i was only wearing a thong - definately not able of
holding the **** trying to get out of my bowels. I waddled to the
emergency exit in great pain, as i got outside i fell to the floor
trying desperately to hold in my ****, I groaned as i crawled down the
side path. Fortunately no one was watching me. I reached the end of the
path and was now again in the public eye. It was 7:30 so was beginning
to get dark as i headed to my car. I was still 5 streets away. One final
cramp and the **** exploded from my *** filling my white jeans. I
covered my *** with my hands as more liquidy diarrhea squirted out.
Leaking from my thong into my trouser legs. Mortified i ran into a small
alleyway and hid between two trees. **** continued exploding from my
*** with lumps rocketing into the sides of my jeans. I burst into tears
as my *** emptied itself. I pulled off my jeans that were now entirely
ruined **** trickled down my legs and i cried with relief. I had no
control but was covered so ran to my car with my dress/top only covering
me. **** continued firing from my *** dripping onto the floor. People
stared at me in disgust at my **** covered legs. I cried and cried as
the **** continued to flow out. I had left a trail of **** behind me and
more continued to pour out. But the worst was yet to come, now two
streets away from my car I fell to the floor as I was forced to push and
the largest log curled from my ***, i didn't get it all out so i ran
with a large log still hanging from my ***. i sat in the middle of the
street weeping but with no passers by. Once i reached my car i wept
until i realised i liked the feel of sitting on this warm squishy ****.
So it was not entirely bad but the clean up was a nightmare, it was an
awful experience that you only expect to happen in movies or something -
not in real life and CERTAINLY not to myself! sorry about the long
description of the event but i needed to get it off my chest...
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